Feeling Fit….

Who doesn’t get to a point in life whether it be a job, or you finally look in the mirror or even just reach a moment in a day and think to yourself…..” how did I end up in a job I hate sooo much? This isn’t what I wanted to do!”, or “ how did I get to this, this is not what I want to look like, this is not a happy person”, or “ how is it already 4pm and I’m still in my pajamas and my teeth aren’t brushed.  Well for me the looking in the mirror and seeing someone I didn’t know was the scenario that hit home. 
Infact it didn’t just hit home, it freakin smacked me in the face and hard!

     Prior to getting pregnant with Kal I was in pretty good shape. Good as in probably the best shape of my life….. infact I was working toward a “Fitness Competition Body” . I wasn’t planning on actually competing in any competitions but looking like I did and heck if I wanted to having the option.  I had a strict diet, and kept a food diary.  I also kept track of my daily calorie intake/ and calorie burn and I was burning substantially more than I took in.  I felt great!  My weight didn’t play a role at all.  After having struggles with eating disorders in my early youth I had always been careful about putting too much stock into that NUMBER on the scale. I didn’t want to strive for a certain number, my focus this time around was HEALTH.  And health to me meant FEELING and LOOKING great and the way to be healthy is in eating good portions of good foods, and getting plenty of sleep and exercise.  Well just as I was feeling like pretty hot stuff, I found out I was pregnant. 

    Whewee!  I was elated and soon INFLATED!! The first couple months I was good about what I ate and making it to theo gym regularly.  But the exhaustion of pregnancy was overwhelming.  I’ve heard it said you either get really bad morning sickness, or really bad exhaustion, or a little of both.  I had exhaustion in freaking OVER DRIVE and I let the exercise go by the way side.  Which started a domino effect, I wasn’t living an active lifestyle and what I was eating became less and less healthy, and I was taking the “Eating For Two” phrase LITERALLY.  Not keeping in mind that that second person I was eating for was like the size of a walnut…..Any way the pregnancy weight began to pack on in my second trimester.  I couldn’t believe the numbers at my appointments so I started evaluating my diet with the O.B. I asked her what I could do to slow this weight gain down.  She gave me some pointers. I became very strict and lowered my carb intake by quite a bit and really watched my portions.  My next appointment came around I still put on a substantial amount.  What the heck.  She asked if I was eating a lot of Salt. My circulation was horrid I woke up constantly at night because my arms were completely numb, and I had had to cut off my wedding ring because my hand swelled to twice it’s size one night.  My hands, and feet and face were ballooning up.  I told her I don’t really put salt on my food.  Well the next day I sat at the table working on crafts eating a handful of sunflower seeds!  I had been eating sunflower seeds like a handful a day!  Which are practically the saltiest things you can eat!  Gosh I’m dumb….So I cut out sunflower seeds all together.  Guess what I only gained 1 more lb. the remainder of my pregnancy.

(just a couple days before I gave birth)

  Although I was able to get smart at the end I had already done some damage amidst the pregnancy. Over all I gained a whopping 45-50lbs. during my pregnancy!  Yuck.  That’s almost double the healthy amount. I had Kalvin April 8, 2011.  By the end of that first week I had already lost 20 lbs.  I thought “This is awesome!!!  I’m one of those ladies who’s fat just gets sucked from their body while breastfeeding”  Well turns out that was probably just all that water weight I had put on.  because I platued after that.  This is about the time I looked in the mirror and was just DISGUSTED with myself.

(It’s hard for me to post this! It’s EMBARASSING!- This is 2 1/2 months after I had Kalvin and I still look pregnant!)

 

How did I get here? When I looked at myself in the mirror it wasn’t the person I wanted to see and it wasn’t the person I felt like I was on the inside.  So I had to  do what I had to do to become that person again.  So I worked my butt off.  Some days it seemed like I would never get there.  Some months I lost 10 lbs. Some were harder and I just coasted.  Although I can proudly say the number never increased on the scale.  And even more proudly I can say I have lost 70 lbs, that’s right 70 FREAKING POUNDS since I gave birth to Kalvin.  I am well under my pre-preg weight with Kal.  Although with the weight lifting and such I was doing before then I had some muscle weight, that I don’t have now.  and I think my fat to muscle ratio is still worse than before but I’m SOOO much happier and HEALTHIER!

(much better!  I can finally look at a picture of myself and feel  content and happy with how i look.  This is a year after giving birth to Kalvin)

Well just proud of how far I’ve come in the past year and thought I would share my good news of Health!